I’ve suffered from anxiety since my youngest was born over 7 years ago.
It just came up out of nowhere and I turned into a mess of a person! After a few tests, they determined I had anxiety and put me on medicine. Although I didn’t want to be on meds, I didn’t know any other way to stop feeling so horrible, so onto meds I went.
I have been on the same medicine for the past 6 years, and back in October, I finally felt well enough to take myself off. I felt great!!
Up until last week…
I decided to take a trip with my kids to Dallas to visit my best friends.
Without my husband.
Dallas is a 5 hour drive for us, and I felt pretty certain I could manage it on my own. I had done it a few times in the past when we lived in Dallas and I’d come to visit my family in San Antonio.
I stressed about it as it got closer. The thoughts of what if my anxiety comes back? What if we’re in a car accident? What if?
Can you tell I’m a worrier?
The day of the trip was great! I felt great, we made the drive up there with no problems.
(Sorry, iPhone pics.. one day this blogger will remember her camera at all times.. until then.. this is what you get.)
I met all my friends and their kids at Chuck E’ Cheese. The kids and I were so happy to see our old friends again!
The next day, my friend Carol and I took the kids to a trampoline park where Cole, after hours of practice, finally landed his front flip!
At lunch, my friend Carol was the 100th customer at Chick fil’ A and got her entire meal for free!
And Cole finally lost another tooth… in his ice cream!
It was a great day!
It only got better when we got back to Carol’s house and my husband had sent me a dozen roses and chocolate covered strawberries for our anniversary!
See. Life was great!
The next morning we got up to leave.
Once we got in the car to make the 5 hour drive back home, I soon realized I didn’t feel well… at all.
Insert anxiety attack here.
The whole drive home was one big anxiety attack.
For five hours straight.
If you have never had an anxiety attack, imagine the feeling you get before giving a speech, or going on stage, and then imagine feeling that way for five hours straight.
I tried to get past it. Tried to not think about what was going on. No matter what I did, it didn’t work.
Once I got home, I felt a little better, but by now, my anxious feeling had returned.
This whole past week, I decided to take a break.
Leave my blog. Leave the furniture. Leave the emails.
Instead I rested. A lot.
My furry friends rested with me.
I started back on my meds. Although they have yet to kick in, I am feeling a tiny bit better each day and I can’t wait to get back to the old me.
I found some great books on how to overcome anxiety and to think positive, so I’ve been reading those in hopes of eventually getting over this anxiety for good!
It’s funny how when you go through certain things in your life, God is sure to send someone or something in at the right time to speak to you. A few days after my attack, I read this on Facebook from Joel Osteen Ministries…
“Just as faith can bring good things, fear can bring in negative things. When you go around worried and expecting the worst, you’re inviting that into your life.”
I don’t want to forever be a worrier. I want to turn that around right now. I want to be a positive thinker.
I hope to be back to painting furniture and crafting this upcoming week. I just wanted to let you know that I’m still here…