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Anxiety & Lots of Random Stuff

I’ve suffered from anxiety since my youngest was born over 7 years ago.

It just came up out of nowhere and I turned into a mess of a person!  After a few tests, they determined I had anxiety and put me on medicine.  Although I didn’t want to be on meds, I didn’t know any other way to stop feeling so horrible, so onto meds I went.

I have been on the same medicine for the past 6 years, and back in October, I finally felt well enough to take myself off.  I felt great!!

Up until last week…

I decided to take a trip with my kids to Dallas to visit my best friends.

Without my husband.

Dallas is a 5 hour drive for us, and I felt pretty certain I could manage it on my own.  I had done it a few times in the past when we lived in Dallas and I’d come to visit my family in San Antonio.

I stressed about it as it got closer.  The thoughts of what if my anxiety comes back?  What if we’re in a car accident?  What if?

Can you tell I’m a worrier?

The day of the trip was great!  I felt great, we made the drive up there with no problems.

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(Sorry, iPhone pics.. one day this blogger will remember her camera at all times.. until then.. this is what you get.)

I met all my friends and their kids at Chuck E’ Cheese.  The kids and I were so happy to see our old friends again!

The next day, my friend Carol and I took the kids to a trampoline park where Cole, after hours of practice, finally landed his front flip!

At lunch, my friend Carol was the 100th customer at Chick fil’ A and got her entire meal for free!

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And Cole finally lost another tooth… in his ice cream!

It was a great day!

It only got better when we got back to Carol’s house and my husband had sent me a dozen roses and chocolate covered strawberries for our anniversary!

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See.  Life was great!

The next morning we got up to leave.

Once we got in the car to make the 5 hour drive back home, I soon realized I didn’t feel well…  at all.

Insert anxiety attack here.

The whole drive home was one big anxiety attack.

For five hours straight.

If you have never had an anxiety attack, imagine the feeling you get before giving a speech, or going on stage, and then imagine feeling that way for five hours straight.

Not good.

I tried to get past it. Tried to not think about what was going on.  No matter what I did, it didn’t work.

Once I got home, I felt a little better, but by now, my anxious feeling had returned.

This whole past week, I decided to take a break.

Leave my blog.  Leave the furniture.  Leave the emails.

Instead I rested.  A lot.

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My furry friends rested with me.

I started back on my meds.  Although they have yet to kick in, I am feeling a tiny bit better each day and I can’t wait to get back to the old me.

I found some great books on how to overcome anxiety and to think positive, so I’ve been reading those in hopes of eventually getting over this anxiety for good!

It’s funny how when you go through certain things in your life, God is sure to send someone or something in at the right time to speak to you.  A few days after my attack, I read this on Facebook from Joel Osteen Ministries…

“Just as faith can bring good things, fear can bring in negative things.  When you go around worried and expecting the worst, you’re inviting that into your life.”

I don’t want to forever be a worrier.  I want to turn that around right now.  I want to be a positive thinker.

I hope to be back to painting furniture and crafting this upcoming week.  I just wanted to let you know that I’m still here…

Much Love,

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Claire

My name is Claire and I am behind the blog... The Rustic Pig. I am a wife, a mother to 2 boys, and I just might be addicted to Craigslist. I love to buy antiques, paint them, and give them a chance to be loved again! Please feel free to pull up a chair and stay for a while. If you ask a question or leave a comment, I will be sure to get back to you as soon as possible!

      

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Claire

@therusticpig

Texas gal, wife, mother to 2 boys, author behind the blog The Rustic Pig, business owner, antique lover, and Christ follower!
I've been horrible about posting my blog posts on Facebook because each post I do only gets seen by about 100 of... https://t.co/DVUtG6qQri - 3 months ago
Claire
Claire

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Comments

  1. I know your pain. My dd suffers with it too and I have had to make trips 20 miles to help her go into her part time job after her college classes. It makes me feel so bad for her and I feel like a terrible mom when it happens…helpless. I hope you feel better soon!

  2. Can relate. Not a good feeling. Do continue to feel better.
    HUGS, Gee

  3. Hi Claire, I too have suffered from panic attacks since having my son 3.5 years ago. I am also on meds for anxiety and tried to come off about a year ago but had to go back on. Mine too came out of nowhere and I still have no idea why. My attacks occur when I drive on highways, which is hard to avoid. It often leaves me feeling isolated. I have read the books and have been for counselling, but to no avail. I try not to worry about it and remain positive, which is the best thing you can do I think. We are not crazy and this is not our fault and we should not be embarrassed or feel guilty, as hard as that might be. Thank you for writing such a brave post that effects so many innocent women. x Juile

  4. i hope you can get back to yourself. Anxiety constantly about anything and everything can be so exhausting. Hang in there and day by day you will get back to *you*

  5. It’s so important to be healthy, that has to be a priority over blogging. I took a few months off and am just getting back in the swing of things… it didn’t take long at all to get right back up to where I left off… don’t worry! Little Bit from http://www.DecorateWithaLittleBit.com
    Little Bit recently posted…Our House: Easter MantelMy Profile

  6. I know exactly how you feel…..many many people suffer with this and don’t get help! It is very scary for the first time it happens. I was bowling…of all things…..last year when it hit. Thought I was having a heart attack with the sweats and short of breath. Started out on low dose of meds…the whole shabang trying to figure out what helped….still adjusting. I’m a doer and don’t have time for this kind of crap!!!! I too have to learn how to get thru especially since I have my first graduating HS shortly and it’s starting to hit me hard. Anywho….thanks for sharing…not everyone is comfortable sharing that they have a weekness…I sure don’t….but come to realize…..seems 3 out of 4 people around you have the same issues….we are human trying to do it all!!
    Hugs-Kelly
    kelly arent {copper roof interiors LLC} recently posted…Keeping it real…My Profile

  7. EMDR, Eye movement, Descentsititzation. I have them also and almost caused my husband to slam us into a mountain during a vacation last summer. We are climbers and back packers, campers. But we go to the mountains. Last summer we went to Colorado and Yellowstone, Twin Sisters, Estes Mountain. My Saint Husband ended driving so slow because I was having one after another that people were honking and screaming at him. But it has started affecting many area’s of my life, and has kept me from reaching my full potential and happiness. So I started to see someone who deals with my problem and this is what I am learning EMDR. A licensed, professional doctor with a proven background. Births, deaths, trauma, fears, physical abuse, illness, sexual abuse this has to come out some where and panic attacks along with many other things happen from this. For me it was the death of my late Husband then I remarried. This is when my resurfaced. Not during dating but right after the marriage. My late Husband and I were in a really bad car accident and lived through it but a little later committed suicide. And this was over ten years ago. I had panic attacks after this and went to a doctor to deal with it. So I thought. I am reclaiming my life again. This is helping and I am slowly reclaiming my life back. If you feel this isn’t a post you want here please delete it. Maybe to much information. I usually don’t share so much but I very very much understand either way. Please be kind to yourself.

    • I’m so sorry about your trauma. Trauma crept back up for me after a 10 year marker, too. I know you can reclaim your life! It’s not easy, but you will be able to enjoy again!

      Praying for you, Claire. I know for me it’s sometimes the pressure to show what I’ve been accomplishing with my time. I am retraining my brain for the portion that I can control, but the anxiety creeps up in the most unusual spots!

    • Suzette Feinstein says:

      EMDR is a very good idea. Look up the EMDR institute online for information about the therapy.

  8. Sheila Moore says:

    Claire…I have no idea what you are and the others are dealing with but I wish you good days and bright sunshine! Feel better soon.

  9. Claire, anxiety attacks are difficult to understand and deal with. Don’t try to solve it on your own, or feel that taking meds is a negative. Sometimes they’re needed. They modify the body chemistry and put you on an even keel. That’s a good thing. God Bless You!

  10. Lauralee says:

    Claire, thank you for sharing your story. Believe me when I tell you that a great quality of life is out there for you. My husband’s first panic attack was about 20 years ago. It was so bad at times that walking to the mailbox at the end of the drive was impossible. After many trips to the ER, doctors, medicine, more doctors and different medicines, I can tell you for sure that a perfectly wonderful life is out there. And yes, it does include medication, the right medication. Unfortunately it took us years to figure this out. But once he got in front of the right doctor who prescribed the right medication, life was back to normal. And that is all he ever wanted…normal. And I guess it’s normal to feel great and decide you no longer need your medication or lower the dosage. My husband did that too only to find out it was better not to mess with his meds. So now, 20 years later and 20 years of taking medication he continues to have a perfectly normal life, without fear. So here is what I tell anyone who struggles with anxiety or panic…If you are not feeling normal, completely normal, then you haven’t found the right doctor or the right medication. And try not to resist taking medication. Anxiety is not a condition caused by external events, or something a person can somehow cause or cure by sheer will…it’s simply a medical condition that requires medication. And thank God we live in a time when doctors and scientist have discovered cures for these conditions.
    Have a happy life and keep painting and crafting. I love your work

  11. Claire, honey I feel your pain. After the birth of my second son, same thing, out of nowhere came horrible anxiety. I never went on meds, but am not opposed to them. I just feel so far I can deal with my occasional episodes. I was so panick stricken about our trip to Ireland, but it came and went and I did OK. It is hard, and our hormones are such a culprit of it all. I hope you are feeling better. Email me if you would, I have you down for the HT, tomorrow, but we can change it to next month.
    debbiedoos recently posted…Rock of CashelMy Profile

  12. I have suffered from this, too, Claire, so I can totally feel your pain on that drive home. Mine used to be when I was going somewhere in the car on the expressway when we lived on Long Island. The same route home I was absolutely fine. And it was only on the expressway! If I took a longer route {with traffic lights} to get to my destination I was fine. I have no idea why this started happening. I, too, went on medication and actually went to a psychologist who tried to help me through it by picturing a dashboard and if my anxiety was at say 5 on the dashboard I had to concentrate on getting it down until I could “see” it at 1. Since we moved to Ohio 1 1/2 years ago I have not had one anxiety attack! I am no longer on my medication. I can only think that the job I had at the time in NY was causing me so much stress that it manifested into anxiety attacks. Who knows, but know that you’re not alone!

  13. I have a similar story after my second child 13 yrs ago i began to have anxiety attacks and have had them ever scince. Wothout writing a book i have gotten a lot of help with a nutritionist in Tx. I am on a natural product called minchex, i have never taken medication. I know how you feel and discouraged you can get. I have experienced just about every anxiety sypmptom there is. Hang in there your not alone i think in my case i need to trust the Lord more! Look into minchex through standard processing and maybe even a nutritionist he has helped me in so many ways. Good luck and love your blog i just came across it.

  14. Mary Elisabeth says:

    I had the same symptoms after the death of my mother. Found out my thyroid was hypo and got on meds which fixed that. The anxiety came back after a couple of months. After much research I discovered low functioning adrenals are the source of most anxiety. My local health food store is so helpful and got me on what I needed to help strengthen them. It is a slow process but I now feel like a normal person! Here is what I take….2 B-stress with iron and zinc by Solaray(breakfast and lunch), 2 Ashwaghanda by Jarrow(breakfast and bedtime), 3 Adrenergize by Enzymatic Therapy(1 ea meal), 4000iu vit D by Carlson(bedtime), 2 Calcium,Mag,Pot Target Mins by Country Life(bedtime), 1500 mg chewable vit c several times a day(Nature Made is my favorite). Your adrenals need lots of vit c so if I felt anxiety coming on I would chew those and calm right down. Also Recue Remedy drops under your tongue are a life saver! I order most of mine from Amazon as they are so much cheaper! Hope this helps and you are feeling back to normal soon! God bless!!

  15. Claire, I too feel your pain. I had panic attacks and depression for so many years after losing my son. I was on meds for many years. Fear is a natural emotion. Everyone has to fight it every day. I think when Paul says “be anxious for nothing” he meant when faced with fear/anxiety, pray for God’s help. When you pray, have faith and know that God also gave scientists the knowledge to make the drugs that can help you. There is no shame in taking medicine for anxiety, any more than taking insulin if you are diabetic. Shame is a ploy of Satan to steal your joy! Treat yourself as you would treat me if roles were reversed. You are so courageous for sharing your story.

    I pray you will be back to your old self soon. From more recent posts I see it happening.

    Peace,
    Linda at The French Hens Nest

  16. Oh my gosh, Claire. I had no idea about this. This post must have been written before I contacted you! Please, if you ever need someone close (I’m just down the road) please, let me know! ~~Angela

  17. I think my story can help a lot of people and BTW I’m a college professor who has taught Anatomy and Physiology for many years so understand the working of the human body. Briefly…..I started with anxiety which over a few years developed into massive and continuous panic attacks, no sleep, just pacing all night, fearful and shaking all day. Finally came to a crisis when I was shaking so hard I called my husband to take me to the ER, on the way there my muscles started contracting, told him that I must have a potassium deficiency (potassium is important in muscle contraction), by the time we arrived at the ER (just a few minutes) I couldn’t walk, talk or sign forms. Turned out my potassium was critically low, could have died because our heart is a muscle. Once the potassium level was corrected I was a new person. I had a recurrences, now on prescription strength (many people have trouble retaining potassium) and have had no problems since. So……if you have anxiety, depression and/or panic attacks PLEASE ask you doctor to have you tested (simple blood test) for electrolye levels which will be potassium, calcium and magnesium, all can affect this problem. I’ve told this to many people and three have reported back to me that they did indeed have low levels and were better or cured with treatment. The treatment, simply taking adequate doses (in pill form) of the substance in which they are deficient. Anxiety, depression and panic attacks do not always have a psychological origin, many times something is just out of kilter with your body’s chemistry.

  18. Oh my goodness! I have dealt with extreme anxiety since I was about 17. I think lots of creative types deal with this!

Trackbacks

  1. […] I know, it’s horrible!  I ended up having a major anxiety attack over spring break that stressed me out so bad that it threw me into even  more anxiety.  If you want to read more, you can read about it here. […]

  2. […] want to thank everyone who has commented and shared their stories on my post about anxiety.  I can’t begin to explain how much it meant to me that you cared enough to share what you […]

  3. […] my panic attack in March and then my battle with anxiety the whole month of April, I was starting to feel like I was being […]

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